No, A Woman DID NOT Grow Potato Roots Out Of Her Va-Jay-Jay

Photo: levenvanhetland.blogspot.ca

Photo: levenvanhetland.blogspot.ca

Although the internet machine has been abuzz with reports of a woman who grew potato roots out of her vagina because she was told by dear old mom it was a great way to not get pregnant, the validity of the story has been called into question by our good friends at Snopes.com.

Citing an unaccredited news source at Columbia Reports, several web sires including UPI, Times Live, Someecards, and The Daily Mail all jumped on the idea that a woman had grown potato roots out of her vagina.

The bizarre phenomenon was discovered when doctors attended a 22-year-old woman complaining of abdominal pains this week.

The embarrassed young woman explained that she had been advised by her mother to insert a potato into her vagina as a means of avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

“My mom told me that if I didn’t want to get pregnant, I should put a potato up there, and I believed her.” the unnamed patient was quoted as saying by local news website HSB Noticias.

A quick Google search for “HSB Noticias patata” showed no record of the site ever having reported on this story.

That hasn’t stopped sites like Someecards from dishing out some pretty lumpy and mashed reporting on this however:

At 22 years old, a sexually active Colombian woman, (her real name has been omitted for reasons of privacy and embarrassment, so from here on we will respectfully refer to her as “Mrs. Potato Crotch”) went to her mom with the big question of how to prevent pregnancy. Mom told her she had a “fail proof method,” all she had to do was shove a potato up her lady parts. Put a whole potato in the oven, you won’t make (tater) tots.

In a sense, this worked. Although the efficacy of potato contraception is yet to be determined, Mrs. Potato Crotch did not become with child. Soon, however, she was to become with chives. Instead of a post-intercourse starch removal, she left that tuber in her tube! To anyone who has stored potatoes (in their reproductive organs or otherwise) this is obviously a mistake. Potatoes need to be kept in a cool, dry, well-ventilated place, or they will grow.

And just where did the idea for this whole story come from?  Well, according to Snopes, this is a tale almost as old as time:

The purported case of a potato growing in the unnamed woman’s vagina is attributed to “local news reports,” but all media mentions trace back to a single article on Columbia Reports. Most notable is the story’s exact resemblance to a decades-old urban legend regarding the use of potatoes as contraceptives among rural women due to insufficient sex education.

This story is about as baked as the potato it was written about.

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